A NEVER list if you are taking care of someone in mental decline
Everyone of us may have the occasion/responsibility of taking care of some loved ones in cognitive decline. Here is a list of NEVER do . . . Instead of do …. Provided by East Central Floride Mental clinic of west Melbourne, FL
1. Never argue but agree
2. Never reason but Redirect
3. Never shame but distract
4. Never lecture but reassure
5. Never say remember but Reminisce
6. Never say I already told you so but repeat
7. Never say You can’t but say do what you can
8. Never command but ask
9. Never condescend but encourage and praise
10. Never force but reinforce
To these I’ll add
11. Never treat the person as a child but recognize that cognitive decline is just like physical decline
This is because the popular notion that cognitive decline is like a person regressing to a child like state and thus need to be helped like a child, namely to learn and be treated/disciplined like a child. Remember S/HE IS NOT a CHILD! LOOK AT THE NEVER LIST #1-10 AGAIN. S/he may be deficient in memory and reasoning as a young child but s/he may feel shames and desrving respect as an adult. Treating him/her like a child may introduce unintentional harm, abuse, emotional anguish , and neglect.
Think about it this way. We accept physical decline as one ages. If a person can no longer walk on his/her own, we do not try to teach him/her to learn to walk again. We instead proved a wheel chair. If a person often forgets to turn off the cooker after preparing a meal, we do not ask him/her to try to always remember, instead we often disable the cooker and have cooked meals delivered instead. In other words, cognitive decline needs to be mediated the same way. It is simply a matter of unavoidable aging and cannot and should not attempt to reverse it (at least until some miracle medicine yet to be invented).
CARETAKER EVERYWHERE, TAKE NOTE OF THIS for the well being and your own sanity as well as that of the victim!
AND IF YOU HIRED SOMEONE TO CARE FOR YOUR LOVED ONE INSTEAD OF YOURSELF MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND THE CONTENT OF THIS ARTICLE ALSO! OTHERWISE ABUSE AND NEGLECT WILL RESULT.
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