Peer Review

 

It’s done! It is a work of art
Or science, I should say;
This paper on my brave new work,
I’ll send it out today.

A month has passed; now it’s two.
Now six, now eight, and no review.
After a year, I get a note,
to cause staid me to emote.
It said thus (am I relieved!)
“Your paper, sir, has been received.”

Again I wait, again I fear,
Again a note that takes a year.
“According to our reviews four,
Resubmit and try once more.
You’ve gone where angels fear to tread,
but your work stinks. Sincerely, Ed.”

Shocked and hurt by this foul news,
I cringe and read my four reviews.
Reviewer A: “’tis nothing new,
I did this back in ‘52.”
Reviewer B: “’tis empty fluff,
No one cares ’bout this strange stuff.”
Reviewer C: “’tis wondrous new,
But your treatment is askew.”
Reviewer D: “I say accept!
It’s new, bijou, and quite adept!”

Perplexed am I, beyond belief.
So I consult the Ed.-in-chief.
“Oh,” said he, “reveiwer D
we dropped, and took the other three.”
“But wait,” said I, “they all conflict!”
“Of course,” said he, “and so we picked.”