任胜利
科技写作漫谈(98):传递信息要先旧后新 精选
2012-11-12 07:24
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标签:信息, background, exactly, Yellow

 

如果信息位置的安排符合读者预期,则读者理解起来更容易、更准确。读者希望在句首(或段首)看到熟悉的信息,这些信息可以起到承上的作用,希望在句尾(或段尾)看到新的信息,在此处新信息得以强化。因此,如果通过合理安置词语来连接信息,文章就会更加流畅。如果作者不理解结构的重要性,读者就会迷惑或错误解读。作者应牢记的总体原则:在下文的新信息出现之前,应给读者提供相应的背景资料。

1Macular degeneration is affected by diet. One of the diet components that influences the progression of macular degeneration is vitamin B6. Although vitamin B6 seems to reduce the risk of macular degeneration, it may have some side effects.

1中位于前一句句尾的信息很好地出现在下一句句首或主题的位置,每个句子的组织呈现为:位于强调位置的新信息在接下来的句子中变身为旧的、熟悉的信息,然后被置于话题的位置。因此,随着文章的继续,读者期望在后续的句子或段落中发现信息副产品,因为这些前句话的副产品处于被强调的位置,已被引见给了读者。如此,文章就会非常流畅与连贯。

另一个实现流畅与连贯的方法是:整个段落的撰写都围绕同一个旧信息。

2 Depression in the elderly is thought to affect more than 6.5 million of the 35 million Americans who are 65 years of age and older. It is considered to be a disorder that is commonly underdiagnosed, undertreated, and mismanaged by pharmacotherapy both in community dwelling seniors and in those residing in nursing facilities. Depression in the elderly has also been closely associated with dependency and disability that presents in both emotional and physical symptoms, thus amplifying the difficulty in diagnosis. Major depression, dysthymic disorder, and subsyndromal depression tend to be higher in persons over 65 who live in a long-term care facility.

    2中主题词“depression”连续出现在每句话的主题位置,为读者提供了上下文的连接。而新信息总是于句尾出现,因此,虽然作者没有对此进行拓展,但每句话都提供了新信息。所以,如果按照这种方式写作,也可以达到流畅的目的。

如果我们运用新旧信息的原则去撰写或修改文章,很快会发现,有些句子的撰写和修改变得容易了,但有些并非如此。如何恰当地给句子开头就很难,尤其是那些长且复杂的句子。因此,很多时候需要适当地变通,清晰、简洁是王道

3AOutbreaks of limb deformities in natural populations of amphibians across the United States and Canada, especially in wetland associated with agricultural fields , were evaluated in this study .

3BWe evaluated outbreaks of limb deformities that occurred in natural populations of amphibians across the United States and Canada , especially in wetland associated with agricultural fields .

多数读者不喜欢例3A,因为它的主语太长太复杂。而例3B却是由简及繁。读者更喜欢开头简单结尾复杂的句子。因此,在构建句子时作者需要考虑词语的长度。

摘编自《科技写作与交流》(任胜利 . 科学出版社, 2012年出版)

 

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