博文
朋友的故事
||
春节的时候，下决心给自己放个假，什么文献都不看，什么学术问题都不想，从除夕到春节一整天，除了睡觉，就对着电脑和远方的亲人聊天，要不就写下面的故事……写这个故事，起源于很早以前，故事的主人，我最好的朋友在QQ上给我说，因为她的小叔子要离婚，她要回家去把她的小叔子皮干了，她说房子是她盖的，媳妇是她取回家门的，没有想到小叔子这么不惜福……我给她说，这些年你长嫂如母，扶持他们，你以为你有权力皮干他们，我知道因为深深的爱，你才会生气，诸不知他们也已近四十，实在已经有权力为他们自己的生活作主了，你就任由他自己选择吧。她心里的结才慢慢打开。后来因为孩子选择特长班还是普通高考班，她们夫妻俩有了分歧，问我，我说，如果孩子真的喜欢图画和音乐，选择特长班无可厚非，但如果只是怕普通高考考不上，而选择所谓的特长班，那么即使孩子将来考上了，她在起步阶段的这个退缩，就注定她这辈子走不远，因为没有任何东西都如探囊取物般简便，面对任何事情，她都必须要凭借自己的勇气和力量和智慧去争取，这样，即使她失败，对她一生来说，都是财富，从失败中积攒的力量只会让她走得更有力。她听从了我的建议。关了QQ，突然就冒出了这么一句话：
四十年过去,我们已经变得面目全非,却依然拥有彼此的信任,这是我生命中最为可贵的部分。其间的友谊和信任赋予我们的生命以更为深刻的内涵。
此后就一直想写写我们的故事。是啊，我们同年出生，她比我大得不到60天，从她家到我家不到60步远，这使她有资格给我说：听姐姐的，肯定没有错。路多远多崎岖，天又多冷多严酷，有这句话，足以温暖整个生命的历程。前些天，看到有人在博客上说可爱与可信的关系，可爱是一种感觉，初次见面可能就有，而可信，则是凝聚在生命里面，不是那么轻易就产生的，除非经历了一些事，才逐渐产生，信任是用事情做出来的，基本的诚信是一方面，更重要的，还有，学识和胆识。可爱更容易导致可信，如果感觉可爱，那么，会给机会互相交往，会更容易认识到这个人内在的秉性，而这个人内在的秉性是诚实，而且有胆有识，则必然导致可信，否则就走向反面，连原来可爱的感觉都荡然无存……所以，可爱并不必然导致可信。但不可爱并不导致必然的不可信，感觉不可爱，可能会使信任的建立更难一些，但日久见人心……千古名言啊。反过来，可信，必然导致可爱……所以，人在社会上，可信是第一位的。
当然，信任，有来自生命里面的，如朋友，有来自社会的，如领袖，而后者，应该更难，能不能堪大任，还真要经过社会的千锤百炼。
the story of my best friend.
The pictures were taken in the house where my best friend in the world lives. I visited her in the night before I left my hometown. She and her husband picked me up in my father’s house with their car. We then spent a night together. The second day, they took off a day from their duty, and drove me to the tomb of my mother, we burnt something for my mother and then they drove me to a bus stop and saw me off.
They are both from the same village as me. The wife is bigger a few days than me, less than 60 days. Moreover, there were less than 60 walk steps from her father’s house to my father’s house. So, she was one of a few persons in the memory before I was five besides my cousins. Of course, it was not a good memory, we fought for a stone and something like that. Anyway we studied and grew up together. Her father was a teacher in our primary school, so she was the leader of Children, I was the one who always tried to fight with her…..with a very fewer friends who were occasionally abandoned by her.
Anyway, we were two students who passed an examination for selecting excellent students to be trained emphasizingly from the whole county. Two years later, I entered into a higher school, she failed, after an extra year’s study, she entered into a technical secondary school.
We became very good friends during we studied in the class. After we separated each other, we began to write each other. We shared every private secret of a little girl. We exchanged the feeling from a little girl to a woman.
We were united so tightly at that periods, and at that periods, a boy, her husband later, inserted to us. Certainly I was not happy at all. And one day the boy wrote to me a letter. I still remembered the content of the letter: 如果她的爱我,如我的爱她,那么我如父般的早逝,也无憾了. (If she had loved me to such an extent that I had loved her, then I would have had no regret anymore even if I had died as early as my father.) His father, the top leader of our village, died in his early 30s because of liver disease when he was a little boy. From that time, he suffered a lot, from a prince to a pity one. He had to be strong to face all difficulties the life gave him.
I was so touched by his words that I allowed my friend to intercourse with him. I sent her to him in their wedding, warning the husband to treat her well for all her life….. She is so luck, her husband still loves her. Certainly she loves him too, and they acknowledged all the duty as the oldest son and daughter-in-law of the oldest son of a family. I mean they acted as the father and mother in their family. The mother of her husband re-married again, and gave birth to three other sisters and brothers, with three children of his father, there are six children in the family, and his step father didn’t do honor his obligation as a father, they divorced again. My friend and her husband, with their mother, brought up all children and arranged their weddings. It is a lot burden and their life is harder…….
They still do not have their own house or apartment. They live in a house which owned by a couple of friends. The wife of the couple was the first girl who entered into the heart of the husband of my friend. Seemed in a fighting when they studied in a normal school, the girl protected him from the fighting, which warmed him and strong him. But at that time, the girl had already fallen into love with a friend of the husband of my friend. He could not help for a long time. But after he fell in love with my friend, they became family friends. Two families have lived in a town for many years, after the couple moved to a bigger city, they let my friend live in their house for free. The house is very big and beautiful, though from the photos, the wall is a little dark. But it is because of light. There are two floors, more than 200 square meters. They lived in the first floor, in the second floor, they arranged a classroom where they recruited and taught some students who were interested in brush writing. Anyway, they will have their own apartment in the near future.
They had been pursuing their future in the official career. They gave up when they realized they had to buy it...... they felt it was no sense for their life. So they quitted and began to devote themselves into their hobby. They Pursed happiness among friends and family members.
They even took care of my family. my mother died when I was taking part in an examination for my master entrance examination, and I could not go home immediately. She bore the duty of a daughter of my mother, gave a lot support to my father. She always invited my brother and his son to eat something when she saw them. …..and do whatever she can do for me. She even wove two sweats for my son……
They like calligraphy very much, even their daughter can write very good. the works of calligraphy have been exhibited in Japan...You can see in the photos when the husband finished a Chinese characteristic, the wife put a paper on it immediately to dry the ink, in case the ink flowed when the paper was moved. And you can feel how harmonious they are.
I am very happy for their happiness and for they finally find a right way to purse happiness. Though for many years, they have done a lot for me, and I did little for them. I just stop some ideas of them. When her husband quitted from his official career, they tried to do some business based on the information from internet, I stopped them because it was not reliable……she has two daughters, the bigger one will take part in the entrance examination of university, sometimes we discussed how to raise children, how to make a choice for children. I always feel lucky when I think of her, Fourties year passed, we are totally difference, but we still trust each other……the friendship and the trust endow a sense to our life.
四十年过去,我们已经变得面目全非,却依然拥有彼此的信任,这是我生命中最为可贵的部分。其间的友谊和信任赋予我们的生命以更为深刻的内涵.
https://wap.sciencenet.cn/blog-215715-298430.html
上一篇：致梁进：珍重
下一篇：一事无成的寒假
