博文
10.10.59-10.10.09 (II)
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Here below are two very sensitive (unedited) articles from two young persons (different in ages from me by more or less half a century) about their feelings on attending our golden wedding anniversary. The first is by my eldest grandson whose father, our beloved son-in-law, passed away prematurely four years ago. The second is by my first Tsinghua student and now colleague (not yet married at the time) from Beijing.
1. By Daniel Kim
Recently I had the honor of attending my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary. A landmark event to be sure. I feel that being able to stay together for 50 years is a great accomplishment, considering that over half of the marriages here in America end in divorce.
The event was held at a museum in Boston, arranged by my mother, my uncle, and my aunt. The place itself was spectacular. One wall was made up entirely of different colored mirrors that reflected the light. A giant “Larry and Sophia 50 years” light shown down on the floor. The florist had arranged these large blue flowers that were very soft and springy. And of course everyone was dressed in their finest clothes.
I won’t go on too much with the details. There are photos of the event on Waigon’s blog if you wish to see the actual venue. I just wanted to talk about my impressions on the event.
First off, I would like to say that I am very grateful to have a good relationship with my grandparents and that they are still alive. Too many of my friends have never known their grandparents, or do not keep in touch. I feel this hurts them because your grandparents treat you nicer than your parents do, and are often a good source of sage advice. Being only 20 years old, I am far from wise and still caught up in my own youth. Talking with my grandparents reminds me that I still have much too learn. (Although I have taught Weipo a thing or two about Facebook.)
It’s strange but one of the things that struck me as I attended this event was the similarity to my father’s memorial service. Obviously this was a very happy event, whereas my father’s was a very sad one, yet both were a celebration of life and things accomplished. We did not have a funeral for my father, but more of a service to reminisce about him. The similarity was that in both events, I met people who I never knew, yet knew those who were close to me very dearly. At my father’s service I met many of his college friends and colleagues. At my grandparents’ anniversary, I met many great aunts and uncles who I had not met before, as well as friends of Weipo, colleagues and students of Weigon, and many others. Personally, I find it fascinating to meet someone who knows a person just as well as you do, but in a different way then you do. For me, my grandparents have always been just that. My grandparents. But to others they are teachers, colleagues, friends, students, brothers, or sisters.
There were many speeches given at the event. I actually gave one although it was not prepared. I made up my mind on the spot, after seeing so many people toast my grandparents, I felt that I should say something too. What followed was unrehearsed and totally unplanned so forgive me if I cannot recall it right now. I’m sure someone has a video of it somewhere, but the event was a mere 10 days ago and pictures and videos are still being organized. Besides, I doubt very many people would want to hear me stammer on anyways. Hahaha.
The whole event was a learning experience. I learned about the early years of my grandparents’ marriage. I learned about my great grandfather, and my family history back in China. I learned that if you are tall enough and have a short enough haircut, you will often be mistaken for your uncle.
All in all, it was a very nice event and I am happy I got to be a part of it. I feel that despite all the cynical reality I am exposed to on a daily basis, there really is such a thing as love for some people. Here is to the next 50 years of marriage, whether they be in this world or the next.
2.“找一位好妻子”——参加何教授夫妇金婚晚会有感
By Jia Qing-Shan
何老师有一次在国内作学术报告时，一名年轻学生问及老师对科研、生活的一句话建议，何老师毫不犹豫地答道“找一位好妻子。”博得满场彩。因为，这句话言简意赅，相当有道理。今年的10月10日，我有幸参加了老师和师母的金婚晚会，最大感受就是，“找一位好妻子”确实是一句至理名言。
大约一年前，我得知2009年10月10日老师和师母的孩子们将为他们举办一个隆重的金婚庆祝晚会。当时就很好奇，因为自己从没有参加过金婚庆祝晚会；也很高兴，因为老师和师母为我们青年一代树立了人生的好榜样，金婚不仅是他们的喜事，也是我们的喜事，确实应当好好庆祝。不过，因为金婚晚会远在美国麻州波士顿，老师在中国控制界的朋友们难以参加，于是我们早就计划在两个月后的国际控制与决策年会前夕（将在上海召开），为老师和师母举办一个中国版的庆祝晚会。幸运的是，我正好受邀赴美国作学术报告，于是，有幸参加了这一隆重的庆典。果真不虚此行。
晚上7点，夜幕降临波士顿现代艺术中心（The Institute of Contemporary Arts）。走进会场的一刹那，地板上用灯光打出的“Larry & Sophia 50 Years!”、接待处迎宾的老师和师母的两个分别从康州和加州赶回来的孙子、会场内众多的亲朋好友，让我意识到，这是个不同寻常的庆典。朋友，来自五湖四海；亲人，从世界各地飞回，目的地只有一个，金婚庆祝晚会。与其说这是金婚庆典，更像是结婚喜宴。老师后来的一番话印证了我的感受。老师和师母于1959年10月10日结婚，“we had combined net worth of less than zero. … the reception and the wedding banquet have to wait for 50 more years to today.”(http://www.sciencenet.cn/m/user_content.aspx?id=263414)
晚会开始了，亲人们感人的致辞，各方朋友和代表的动人话语，将我一次次带回五十年前，带回老师和师母携手走过的传奇旅程。意想不到的是，师母唱起了五十多年前她与老师初次见面时所唱的歌《红豆相思》，老师与师母携手翩翩起舞(http://www.sciencenet.cn/m/user_content.aspx?id=263414)。老师制作的幻灯片“Travels with Sophia, in search of happiness on our life’s journey”将晚会气氛推向了顶峰。
作为老师的学生，老师和师母不仅教会我们如何做学问，更注重教会我们如何做人。因此，我们是幸运的。能参加老师和师母的金婚晚会，再一次体会“找一位好妻子”这句至理名言，我是幸运的。衷心祝福老师和师母，走向更美好辉煌的人生。
“Life is not how much breath you take, but the moments that take your breath away.”
– Hitch in Hitch, the movie.
https://wap.sciencenet.cn/blog-1565-264064.html
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