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爱情与信赖

已有 1671 次阅读 2016-5-6 00:07 |个人分类:散文诗歌翻译|系统分类:生活其它

爱情与信赖

 


阿尔伯特·哈伯德  海瑞两千译
 

     不管哪个女子在结婚的那天都还称不上是个妻子,因为那时的她还完完全全、全身心地沉浸在爱与纯真的气氛里;这种关系的至高无上的神圣性是那时唯一攫住她灵魂的东西。她会是一个要讨价还价的鸨母吗?

     女人不应该“遵从”于男人,倒是男人更应该遵从于女人。每对幸福的婚姻都具有六项必备的条件。这第一项就是信赖,其余的五项就是信心。对于一个女人来说莫不如是:信赖一个男人就是对他最好的赞美——对于一个男人来说莫不如是:给女人以信心就是对她最好的愉悦。

    遵从?天呀!是的,如果我爱一个女人,我满心的渴望就是遵从她最细小的意愿。如果我没有全然的信心相信她仅仅是渴求美、忠诚与公正,我怎会爱她?为了使她能够实现这个理想,她的意愿,对我就是一个神圣的号令;我知道,她对我也作如是观。我们之间唯一的竞争就是:看谁付爱最多;遵从的渴望,是操控我们生命的惟一动力。

   我们因付与而自由,享用信赖的他会加倍回报这份信赖。以爱讨价还价、约法三章,爱就会衰败。

   在婚礼上驻足、请求牧师略去“遵从”一词的女子,是在播种怀疑与不信任的种子,到后来,这种子就会在离婚法庭上开花结果。

   在“家族”和“金钱”婚姻婚前通常有的那种关于财产、嫁妆的讨价还价和吵吵闹闹, 无意间确是苦恼、心痛、折磨、耻辱期待委托人的前兆。

   全然的信赖必然包含全然的爱;全然的爱会驱散恐惧。致使女人喋喋不休讨价还价的原因,始终是对强迫、对一种潜在的统治欲的恐惧——那是爱的匮乏,是限制、是伤残。全然的爱的标价就是绝对的无条件投降。

   你若打折扣,亚拿尼亚和撒菲喇的命运就是你的命运。你的厄运便为期不远且在劫难逃。要赢得所有,我们就必须付出全部。

 

⑴ 亚拿尼亚和撒菲喇(Ananias and Sapphira)亚拿尼亚(因伙同妻子撒非喇私扣变卖田产所得的钱欺哄圣灵被揭穿后夫妻同被打死)《圣经·使徒行传》5∶1~5]

附原文:

Love and Faith

Love, Life & Work – by Elbert Hubbard

No woman is worthy to be a wife who on the day of her marriage is not lost absolutely and entirely in an atmosphere of love and perfect trust; the supreme sacredness of the relation is the only thing which, at the time, should possess her soul. Is she a bawd that she should bargain?

Women should not "obey" men anymore than men should obey women. There are six requisites in every happy marriage; the first is Faith, and the remaining five are Confidence. Nothing so compliments a man as for a woman to believe in him--nothing so pleases a woman as for a man to place confidence in her.

Obey? God help me! Yes, if I loved a woman, my whole heart's desire would be to obey her slightest wish. And how could I love her unless I had perfect confidence that she would only aspire to what was beautiful, true and right? And to enable her to realize this ideal, her wish would be to me a sacred command; and her attitude of mind toward me I know would be the same. And the only rivalry between us would be as to who could love the most; and the desire to obey would be the one controlling impulse of our lives.

We gain freedom by giving it, and he who bestows faith gets it back with interest. To bargain and stipulate in love is to lose.

The woman who stops the marriage ceremony and requests the minister to omit the word "obey," is sowing the first seed of doubt and distrust that later may come to fruition in the divorce court.

The haggling and bickerings of settlements and dowries that usually precede the marriage of "blood" and "dollars" are the unheeded warnings that misery, heartache, suffering, and disgrace await the principals.

Perfect faith implies perfect love; and perfect love casteth out fear. It is always the fear of imposition, and a lurking intent to rule, that causes the woman to haggle over a word--it is absence of love, a limitation, an incapacity. The price of a perfect love is an absolute and complete surrender.

Keep back part of the price and yours will be the fate of Ananias and Sapphira. Your doom is swift and sure. To win all we must give all.




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