The English saying "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" can be faithfully translated into the
Confucian saying of "入境问俗" However, Chinese culture has such a strong identity that
foreign influxes to China often end up adopting Chinese culture and melt into the population.
Examples of this are the Jews of Kaifeng (开封) and more recently the Ching dynasty (满清).
This tendency of trying to assimilate others (or refusal to adopt foreign customs) even gets
carried onto foreign soils. The term "?a华侨" clearly implies that "I am a Chinese who is
temporarily here in this foreign country". However, seriously speaking, how many of the
millions of Chinese-Americans currently living in the US will ever return to live in China?. Part
of the reason for the existence of "Chinatowns" (and by the same token the absence of "French
towns" or "India towns") is this refusal to follow the custom of others while living in a foreign
land. In mixed gatherings, some Chinese American pointedly will converse in Chinese only
totally ignoring the local Americans present. The extreme example of this is the fact that in
certain California town, signs, menus, and displays in stores are only available in Chinese.
Imagine the antagonistic feelings thus generated in the minds of the locals.
As a result, Chinese-Americans, compare to other racial groups are by and large not mainstream
in the US. Japanese Americans, far smaller in number, have elected several senators,
congressman, and state governors. Korean and Indian American politicians have also achieved
national status before the Chinese. I may be wrong but currently there is only one elected
congressman (David Woo of Oregon) who is ethnically Chinese on the national scene.
Ignorance or "refusal to assimilate" also has other unfortunate implications. Some Chinese
customs are 180 degree different from western ones. Ignorance of such can lead to
misunderstandings and bad feelings. One example is "invitation and RSVPs". Formal invitations,
such as dinner or weddings, often carry the message of RSVP which means "please reply your
acceptance or declination". But many Chinese Americans still follow the Chinese custom – “我有空就来”- and ignore the request. Also, in the US, invitations for dinner are very specific as to
who are invited or not invited (e.g. children). The custom of“加一双筷子殳有关系" does not
operate in western countries since cost of a dinner is counted on per seating or per head basis.
Disregard of this fact can lead to embarrassment both for the host and the guest. Another
example is to "drop in on your friends without prior notice". In China, it is often considered rude
to announce to your friend that one plans to visit and to make an appointment in the sense of “不要警动主人" (this may be a leftover habit form the olden days when telephones are not
prevalent). But the western custom is exactly the opposite.
Chinese culture also are very strong with respect to "family obligations" but weak in "social
responsibilities" 请看周可真教授傅客:8/19/07假货与政治). The operating p hilosophy seems
to be "mind your own business" or “各埽自已门前雪莫管他人瓦上霜. Sure, the label of
"model minority" often applied to Chinese Americans may mean we are law abiding. But we
also have the reputation of "aloofness" and "not public minded". Volunteering for public service
is not a strong suit among Chinese Americans. Yet many are very quick to take advantage of
public goods and welfare but not realizing that you have to "give" as well as "take". Yes, during
periods of uncertainty such as war or the Cultural Revolution when you don't know what
tomorrow may bring, a survival strategy is to "grab when and what you can". In a more stable
society, life is a two way street. Public service and volunteering are a very honorable things to do
in a neighborhood or in the town you live in. In the Sixties, there was a best seller titled "the
Ugly Americans" which chronicles the boorish behaviors of some Americans abroad. The
Taiwanese author 柏杨??, I believe, wrote in the 80s a book titled "The Ugly Chinese" in a similar
vein. There are much truths in that book. (I thank reader[3] below for providing the Chinese name of the Taiwanese author)
When things do not go their way, many Chinese immigrants are the first to cry "racial
discrimination". Yes, discrimination still exists in the US. But she is the most open and tolerant
country I know. "Responsibilities and Privileges" go together. To enjoy the freedom and
privileges in the US also means to accept certain "public responsibilities". As a group when
compared to others, we seem to be deficient in this respect and not as "mainstream". I don't
know how long it will take the native born generations of Chinese Americans to shed this image
and reality.
One of my friend said it well. America is often called "the melting pot". But a more apt metaphor
can be " a delicious stew" in which each ethnic group can still maintain their cultural
distinctiveness but at the same time contribute to harmonious function of the society by